By Daniel Finton (Deputy Editor)
What up, pimps?
Welcome one and all to the third instalment of the dare I say, controversial “Finton’s Frolic”- a blog intended to bring about a chuckle in this dire time of stress in the world.
Unfortunately, like everything ever in the year of 2020, the previous article managed to trigger. How the content found within my previous piece is ‘relevant’, I cannot say. However, what I can say is that if you do not like it, you can simply not read it or go fuck yourself because I will write what I want.
Today, what I would like to write about is my personal dream midfield pivot. As you have already read from the title, it is a duo of Adrien Rabiot and Thomas Partey.
Whilst it is unrealistic, the pair that would be grounded in diversity would give Arsenal one of the strongest spines in the Premier league. The two have vastly different playing styles to one another, but also share a streak of tenacity.
Admittedly, I had my reservations over Partey in particular. The fact that he plays for a defensive-minded team, under such an organised structure with Diego Simeone left me wondering whether or not he’d be comfortable in the far weaker and more open Arsenal side which plays possession based football. Furthermore, I was not sure how he would fare in a structure that plays as protagonists, given the fact that Atletico Madrid almost never have the higher possession statistic, regardless of the level of the opposition.
My opinion changed though. After reading a piece done by the Chief Editor, Alfie, my opinion was swiftly altered. According to the stats, Partey is actually a very good ball progressor and this is compiled with the fact that he is an impressively athletic and aggressive player. The Ghanaian international would be a perfect fit to our midfield. While there may be some growing pains with him moving to a side that plays the polar opposite style to that of his current side, I think he could manage it. Unlike the next player, Partey actually looks possible. Various reports have stated he is open to a move away from the Wanda Metropolitano.
The ideal partner for Partey would be that of Juventus’ Rabiot. While there has been almost no talk of the Frenchman leaving Turin, the big man is still a dream signing of mine. At 6’4, he would provide a massive presence in the middle of the park along with his tidiness on the ball. He also is a very tenacious character on and off the pitch and in my opinion, that is just what this Arsenal side need.
The dressing room is filled with “nice guys” and Mikel Arteta should look into bringing in a prick or two like Rabiot to strike a balance. Whether or not Arteta is on board with bringing in personalities like Rabiot's is obviously still to be determined, but for me, players like him can be helpful. At times our dressing room appears somewhat of a comfort zone and the former PSG man is one that will never let that stand.
A midfield partnership of Partey and Rabiot would provide aggression, ball playing ability, metal and most importantly a duo defined by their great hair. Like Elneny, Partey’s locks are somewhat reminiscent of the much-admired palm tree. And Rabiot’s lovely, luscious mop would be sure to captivate all of those watching, whether it is pinned up into a bun or left alone and given the right to flow freely. A palm tree to provide cover from the sun (attackers) and a mop to keep everything nice and tidy would be the midfield pivot that dreams are made of.
That is all folks. Thanks for reading the third edition of the ever-controversial Finton’s frolic. Remember to wash your hands, and continue to do so even when this annoying viral conundrum comes to an end you plebeian swines. Also, in this time of dire stress, remember life is not that serious because at the end of the day, myself, you and everybody in the world is a joke in their own way and completely irrelevant in the grand scheme of things. Last but not least, I bid thee a toodloo.!
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