By Daniel Finton (Deputy Editor)
What up, Pimps?
Welcome one and welcome all to the Finton’s Frolic right opinion zone. Today we’re gonna discuss something that I’m not really hearing much about. And some might think it’s a good thing, but I think it’s sort of unjust. It’s what the title says.
Emile Smith Rowe was given the number 10 at the top of the season and questions were asked. And now that he’s provided answers to those unsure, nobody is even mentioning the legendary number upon his back. Great players before him like Mesut Özil and Jack Wilshere failed to live up to the numbers’ lofty reputation, but Smith Rowe is turning to a diamond under its immense pressure. It’s early days, yes. But the start of the ESR10 saga has got off to a damn good start.
Just last season, we weren’t wasting our time moaning about some YouTube channel that has fallen off into oblivion, we were miserable because we couldn’t score goals. Our strikers sucked. Additionally, the side was horrible at making chances. We were about as creative as a left brained accountant.
Smith Rowe has changed both of those things. At 21. Wearing the heavy number of Arsenal legend Dennis Bergkamp.
So, I’m writing this piece up — as I have cheap, break room barbecue chicken stuffed in my cheek — to ask the Pimps out there to speak out about something positive. For once, please.
Our young squad looks as if it is on the up and players like Smith Rowe and Bukayo Saka are helping lead the charge from the front. The two headliners of sorts are more than capable of scoring goals as well as creating chances. That’s more than we could say about the entire heckin’ team last season. But some of our fans are obsessed with being negative. A lot of them, in fact. And I’m not biased, so enough positivity. Let me end this on a note that they’ll relate to.
Everything is on fire. WE ARE ALL GOING TO DIE. Smith Rowe and Saka will have to retire one day. Arteta cares more about his hair than Arsenal. Aaron Ramsdale is .. actually, I can’t come up with anything negative. A YouTube channel with 1/100th of the following of Arsenal will ruin this entire team founded in 1896. THE STADIUM NEEDS A PAINT JOB. OUR CLUB WILL LIQUIDATE, OTHERWISE. Bernd Leno shouldn’t have to wear the away kit in place of a goalkeepers’— shambles. Lacazette is bald. Holding brought his hair back, showing he had a problem with being bald (the likes of Steve Bold didn’t care. Men. Not Lacazette though. It’s just different.) Nicolas Pepe. The Arsenal Cannon Podcast has become about as consistent as Granit Xhaka. And finally, “wE’rE cElBrAtIn’ wInS aT lEicSteR. hoW tHe mIGhty ‘aVE fALlen.”
I don’t feel like writing anymore. You’re welcome for my laziness and cutting this to an abrupt halt. I’ll save you the brain cells so you can leave this web page thinking about how good the Croydon De Bruyne looks donning the number 10.
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