Finton’s Frolic: Mikel Arteta Discovers Having No Midfielders To Play For Full Season May Be Unwise

By Daniel Finton (Deputy Editor)

What up, Pimps?

Welcome one and welcome all to the Finton’s Frolic right opinion zone. Today, we will be discussing how sources close to WLYA have learned about the incredible realization came to by our ever-clever manager Mikel Arteta. The Spanish Albert Einstein has made a revolutionary finding.

Arteta has impressively figured out that going into a Premier League campaign with like no central midfielders whom will be here for the whole season is a little dangerous. It is a truly impressive discovery given how insignificant the position is in the modern game. The fast learner only took close to two years to be able to assimilate such a genius detection.

Sometimes Arteta’s intuitiveness goes under the radar. It’s obvious that he oozes common sense and never makes decisions based off of emotion, stubbornness, or any sort of preconceived notion on any given person. He only takes actions that make sense, and only listens to those that know what they’re talking about, such as his equally bright set piece and goal keeping coaches.

The imminent loaning out of Joe Willock may turn out to be a mistake as he could play for the whole time, sure, but at least it’s one that the former Manchester City number two will surely apologize and take full responsibility for in the future. Not only does he have an abundance of intelligence and common sense, but he is also notoriously egoless and very easy to get along with.

Fortunately, the future isn’t all bleak in spite of that singular, easy to make mistake. The state of the middle of the park should be fine in spite of a great deal of exits occurring.

Little interest has been shown in Granit Xhaka, the much-loved, mobile cog. The Swiss captain is currently enjoying holiday in Rome for the time being though.

Additionally, Lucas Torreira is said to miss the climate and weather of England dearly, so we can look forward to welcoming him back too. Having the Uruguayan and blondie going into the new campaign along with some Belgian guy the world class talent spotter Thierry Henry said is good will see us soar to much-awaited heights.

The aforesaid pair and the highly experienced veteran Albert Sambi Lokonga will make for a trio even more well-rounded than Willian’s gut. It’s coming home, Pimps.

The season ahead looks bright. With a middle of the park so sparse, yet quality, there will be few instances of players growing frustrated with a lack of game time. If you’re here, you’ll probably play, you kind of have to. That, in itself will make for great squad cohesion that wouldn’t be here if Matteo Guendouzi was.

Arteta is also very obviously privy to the fact that he was, in fact, a player that played in what will be an empty area at some point this season back in his hay day. So, push comes to shove, and he can pull his socks to the knees or above.

In all seriousness though, while it may be dangerous to enter a Premier League season without a midfielder that will be present for the whole season in the squad, I’m still confident. Arsenal have a rich history of players that are capable of staying fit, especially in the midfield. Be excited.

Toodloo...!