By Daniel Finton (Deputy Editor)
What up, Pimps?
Welcome one and welcome all to the Finton’s Frolic right opinion zone. All is well in the Arsenal fandom right now. We’re top of the league going into Christmas, and miles ahead of our rivals. Everything is perfect.
Except it’s not.
Gooners are under the ridiculous impression that we have a chance to win the league. I know the stats suggest that we do have a tremendous opportunity seeing as we’ll be top at Christmas, but it’s not that easy, and there’s something seriously wrong at the Emirates.
Oleksandr Zinchenko can’t take throw ins. He’s the second coming of Hector Bellerin in that regard. And what did we do league title wise with Bellerin? Jack diddly. So history will repeat itself.
Zinky Winky is a decent player, I’ll admit it, but Zinky Winky letting the ball roll wrongly off his pinky will prove to be an awfully stinky tinkly winkly that will be dropped on our premier league title hope .. inklies …?
While I don’t wish to be the one pessimist, it’s hard not to call notice to this inexcusable atrocity. He’s now committed two foul throws. He may as well being throwing the title back to his former club Manchester City.
In fact, I bet that’s what he IS doing. He’s a double agent. One sent by their bald coach. Zinky Winky was sent to squander AT LEAST two throw ins for us. Who knows where we’d be if he successfully made those two throws without a foul being called? We could be lifting a title right now.
It’s clear as well that we’re utilizing long throws from time to time this campaign. That aforementioned bald man who wears cardigans must’ve known this. He is a great, supremely intelligent, bald coach.
I say we kick Zinchenko out before it’s too late. The guy has even painted the Emirates on the walls of his gym. That’s how committed the guy is to playing the character.
Look at his past, he’s done the same with that one creepy musician who moonwalks. He’s clearly a world class impersonator.
#ZinchenkOwinsMustStop (My God, ZinchenkOwins even rhymes with “no wins.” We’re doomed.)
We’ll have to keep an eye on this situation. If Arteta keeps playing him, I think it’s evident that he’s also a double agent.
Ugh anyways. I’m tired of this controversial topic. I’m ready for football to be pure and without scandal again. So let’s look on to the World Cup!
Toodloo …!
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