By Jahid Islam
Good morning, afternoon, evening, or whatever to all you lovely WLYABlog readers! I’m Jahid (@JahidFullStop) back after an immensely stressful med-school exam break, which I’m technically not yet fully out of, lol.
This article’s gonna be looking at our new threads for next season, so settle in for some spicy fashion criticism of the bits I like, as well as the fashion faux pas.
Let’s first talk about our kits for this season (22/23). They’ve set such a high bar that anything less was set up for failure. In particular, that sold-out black kit might be my favourite away kit of all time. It goes with almost anything you pair it with, and the gold accents in front of that charcoal background is stunning.
The pink kit third strip was also beautiful on the rare occasions that the kit-man was told to bring it along. It was a uniquely vibrant kit that foreshadowed the mostly positive season we would go on to have; an optimistic and hopeful start that was soon put aside once the going got a little tough.
If you haven’t seen the kits for next season already, it’s understandable. We’ve only officially announced our home kit, probably out of fear of the twitter firestorm that our away kit would bring. They’ll probably soften the blow of the hideous away kit with the announcement of a big marquee signing wearing said monstrosity, think Moises Caicedo or Decland Rice or whoever. The third kit by contrast is relatively muted, but looks quite smart me thinks.
The Home Kit:
I like it, a lot. It’s giving me prime 2015/16 Puma vibes. Alexis Sanchez in blistering form, Mertesacker the BFG at the back, Ozil in the midfield, and someone called Mikel Arteta in his final season before retirement. With the torso in red curving away to give rise to predominantly white sleeves lined with gold accents, the home strip pays homage 20 years since the Invincibles season, but it feels bitter sweet. One on hand, it marks 20 entire years since the greatest season in our club’s history. That’s genuinely the same age as me. A 20 year wait that has seen us in a steady state of decline, and one that could’ve been reset had we not fallen apart in the latter stages of this season.
Regardless, that gold trim will always have the justification of the Invincibles homage etc, but we all know that there was an air of hopeful expectation that a golden Premier League badge would adorn that right sleeve. Instead, we’ll have to settle for the return of that Champions League badge, which I prayed for at the beginning of the season.
It speaks volumes to the progression of this club that in aiming for top four, we’re disappointed in ‘only’ 2nd place. We’re in good stead.
Anyway, the zigzag accents along the main red body add some semblance of texture, but I’m so disappointed that the actual replica kits likely won’t have the invincible record embroidered onto the inseam. Judging by the reported £80 price tag, it’s a bit dishonest to portray the kit as an Invincible homage piece with the record embroidered in the release pics, only to take that special attention to detail away from the majority of fans.
The home kit for next season gets a decent 8.2/10 from me. The price and disparity between advertised and replica kit bring it down, but the nostalgic homages to both the Invincibles season as well as the legendary 15/16 season help counteract these negatives. I’ll let you pick which season we’re paying tribute to.
The Away kit:
I’d like to know what they were smoking over at Adidas HQ because if they thought this kit looked good, then whatever was in that spliff should be strong enough to cure my debilitating depression.
That migraine-inducing neon green/yellow background, with the scribblings of an infant left with a sharpie on top, is such a polarising choice. They’ve got ‘mucho cojones’ to try it out, but it ‘no ha functionado’. Mikel that’s for you, mi amor.
The more I look at it, the more palatable it gets. It’s like the first time I saw a chihuahua. Bit by bit it moves away from ‘Oh my god what the fuck is that?’ and towards only borderline nausea-inducing, though I’m still hoping that these are just inaccurate leaks and that the actual kit is a sexy little blue number like 21/22 or something.
The leaked neon greeney-yellowey mess of a kit gets a 2.1/10 from me. The sheer balls of the designers to make, and the club to cosign, a Mike Wazowski inspired colour way deserves a few pity points.
The Third kit:
Now for our final kit for the 23/24 season, supposedly. It’s a relatively smart, kinda basic kit with a body in dark teal and sleeves in deep navy. There’s not much else to say here, there’s no fancy designs that have leaked bar from ‘AFC’ being written in an old timey font on the buttoned collar. As of 30th May 2023 that’s all we’ve got from this one, though I do like its simplicity compared to the tribute home kit with all its gold accents and zig zag details, and the batshit crazy neon-plus-sharpie collab away kit.
The third kit gets a meh 6.5/10 from me. I gotta see more of it in order to rate it fairly, but the reported colours pair well and are muted enough to look subtly stylish on a kit together. It also fits in well as a less shocking kit vs the other two, which I like.
Thanks for reading! I’ve been Jahid, and I’ll catch you all soon.
Comments